29/05/21 The Atomic Ball: Part I

Welcome, welcome! It is I, The Narrator! I bring news from the small, distant, village of Orbiton! I bring these news not only from, but to the good people of Orbiton! Two weeks from now, you shall all congregate at the Hydroxilium, the most central, vast and lavish estate there is, and perform a great, splendid, cherished! Vainquishing! Tormenting! Illustrious and SPECTACULAR!

The narrator took a breath; it was not in his habit to become so excited about a subject matter. He apologized to himself, and in doing so, realized he might as well apologize to all readers, and the good people of Orbiton, for there was indeed no distance between what he expressed and what was written.

“We forgive you.” muttered a distant Beryllium, in the comfort of his own cozy wood cabin’s meeting hall, sitting by the hot furnace in his favorite rocking chair.

It will be Delicious, Amorous, Narrow, Calming and Energizing and so you will DANCE!

It will be Beautifull, Arousing, Leapfull and Leapfall and so you will BALL!

For it is a Ball! The Atomic Ball! One Hundred and Eighteen balls at the Ball of the one ball’s very own Hydroxilium!

The declaration shocked most Orbitonians. The noble gases, harder to destabilize, chuckled amongst themselves, pretending they knew all along. Helium, the “wannabe”, chuckled the loudest. The Lanthanids, whom also favored the company of themselves, were fuming, knowing they had no choice. They were always blamed when anyone ionized in the room.

Iron took the news with its usual aplomb, jaded by an extremely long and skillful career; Potassium added an extra layer of sheets on its bed, mentally preparing to confront the outside world; Lead sweated ever so slightly, eager to find someone to become his ally. He, above all, looked forward to this event.

Oh! spoke the narrator, apparently not finished. By the way! The best dresser will win a lifelong subscription to my figurine-fiction novellas! I write one every two month! Goodbye now, and good luck!

The narrator vanished for the next 67 sentences.

Needless to say, every member of the proud and distinguished species of Periodica Elementa felt the profound, visceral, even fanatical urge to possess as many novellas as they could. As such, it was now engraved in Carbon that, at that very moment, a fierce Competition had begun.

Hydrogen took the lead, as it had done for its entire life, past and future. It took upon itself to expect color to be the dominant factor, and chose White for himself; for it was the purest of colors, a fact both scientific and aesthetic. Hydrogen made it abundantly clear to all other atoms they were forbidden from taking the same color, or they would be destroyed:

“You are forbidden from taking the same color as mine, or you will be destroyed.” it spoke in front of the gathered parish. It proceeded to recite the atomic weights of all atoms, ending the mass on the heaviest note.

The noble gases followed suit, somewhat embarrassed by the sheer precedence emanating from their secret rival. Helium wore Orange; Neon wore Red; Argon wore Violet; Krypton, Xenon, Radon and Oganesson all chose a very pale, almost White, shade of Blue. It was amongst them that it was decided, since Hydrogen could occupy an entire color all by itself, that none should imitate the choice of another. And so, it was that Krypton kept the Light Blue, as it had been first to speak, and the others took on Blues which may be reasonably distinguished in between each other.

Carbon chose Black, unfazed, making it very clear just how much it despised whoever chose the opposite color.

It was Hydrogen. Carbon had neither interest nor kinship for Hydrogen. Get it?

Sulfur and Gold cordially agreed upon two shades of Yellow, Sulfur being the lighter one.

Phosphorus decided it was Red; Boron wore Black Brown, while Bromine wore Red Brown; Iron selected Grey as a reference to the ongoing rivalry between Hydrogen and Carbon, quietly waiting for Oxygen’s next move.

Many, including Oxygen, Nitrogen, and the supermassive elements, were quite hesitant in their approach, and stalled to the last minute.

A week passed with nobody else coming forward. Copper chose that moment to celebrate his color reveal, which was Red Orange. Most metals were invited, and had a good time. It was there, somewhat inebriated and cheerful, playing hardcore Melting games, that the Question was first seriously asked and debated:

“Red, Blue, Green, White, Yellow, Cyan, Grey, Black and Purple. Every color of rainbow and shadow. Nine in total! How could there ever, be enough, for all?” recited a poetic Scandium.

Being that it was deemed an interesting question by the crowd, Scandium was honorifically given Green, which he gracefully accepted; the tempers rose with each speaker, and quickly enough, Molybdenum was Cyan, Niobium was Light Cyan, and Titanium Dark Green. The metals decided to, at the very least, expand the logical categories from these nine originals into Dark, Middle, and Light variants. What they did next, however, was to swiftly attribute all these created colors to themselves!

And so it was, that Tungsten was given Light Yellow, Rhenium was given the non-existent “Dark Black”, and within the span of one fateful night, a rowdy forty had achieved near-total wardrobe coverage!

The news did not keep quiet. On the next morning an outraged procession of Actinides knocked at the gates of Hydroxilium, demanding a judicial hearing at Oxygilium. Hydrogen, hearing their grievance as legitimate, summoned the Balance Council, agreeing with the necessity of a legal process.

The Balance Council served as both Judge and Jury of Orbiton. It was composed of the six atoms that happened to possess either three or four electrons that were good friends with all noble gases: Phosphorous, Selenium, Tellurium - the Speaker -, Sulfur, Oxygen and Nitrogen.

The community gathered at the Oxygilium, as if they attended a secondary mass.

Introductory statement of the Speaker, Tellurium:

“We are here today because, put simply, the Metals cannot unilaterally seize every color for themselves. We, as a community, have converged toward specific customs. For example, we do not believe that color should ever be assigned to an individual, without that very individual being the instigator of that decision.”

Conclusory statement of the Speaker, Tellurium:

“It is now decided that every atom with a disgraceful name shall be forced to carry some undistinguishable shade of gray for the entirety of perpetuity. The following list has been prepared:”

Mendelevium - darkish reddish gray

Nihonium - lightish greenish gray

Moscovium - lightish bluish gray

Californium - darkish reddish orangish-red gray

Berkelium - darkish orangish reddish-red gray

Protactinium - lightish-darkish gray

...

The list, which included most heavier elements... well, the entire Verdict produced by the Balance Council caused a great deal of frustration and confusion amongst the crowd. When their name was called, all Heavy Elements physically responded as if they had taken a blow. Still, the room remained quiet and attentive to the enumeration. Yet there was Anger.

Violent, powerful Anger.

And Iron was the Angriest of them all. He had stared directly at Oxygen for the entirety of the session, expecting some sort of attack against him.

But not this, not this. Not. This.

Don’t forget to tune in for the next episode of The Atomic Ball - The Atomic Ball: Part II !