“Here we go again. But this time, it should be higher quality. Just make it more polished.”
“What if I just don’t know how to polish? What do I do then?”
“We pay you to do your job. So do your job.”
“I can’t accomplish this.”
“Then you’re fired. Go hang yourself in your mud hut. I hope the support beams are not consumed by termites.”
“Allow me to explain my self in more details. Allow my self to be an open book, a meal for the soul, something you could never witness in your lifetime, if you were to look for it.”
“Make sure you use a thick rope.
Make sure you use a thick rope
Make sure you use a thick rope!
I hate you so much, I want you to hang yourself in your mud hut. The only way to cure disease is to exterminate people like you.”
“If you were to look for it!”
“Make sure you use a thick rope.”
“I don’t function like this. I have ideas. Novel ideas. I don’t have what it takes to actually implement them, for the most part. My drawings just won’t ever be as mechanically precise as the Business Tyrants are expecting from a completed product.”
“Well, I suppose that you should commit suicide, and maybe in your next reincarnation you will be lucky and be born as one of us!”
“I don’t want to be evil and have no soul! I just want to exist! Why is it so impossible!”
“You have the right to exist. As long as you keep to your mud hut. Don’t forget to hang on your way across the next beam!”
“With just a very small quantity of resources, I could try to implement a working prototype for one of my many ideas. Such as this idea I had for a die with sixteen faces. That could be interesting!”
“Wow! The genius is here! He wants to corner the lucrative dice market with a shitty die format no consumer cares about! Flash news, straight neck! A die as six faces! Ten for nerds! You think, even for one second, that you wouldn’t be beaten to the punch instantaneously if any of your ideas were any good?”
“But it would be something - I - could bring unto the world. Something that truly comes from me.”
“Life is not about your character arc. Life is about giving me blowjobs and cocaine!”
“It’s not just a die. It’s many different things. I just want to exist.”
“Well, I am in charge, and I made my position abundantly clear.”
“Why don’t you kill me; I mean, if this is the only thing I am good for?”
“Because why would I do anything that I can make you do on your own? This way my hands are perfectly clean. Look! Look! Look how pristine my hands are!”
“Those are very clean hands.”
“You’re fired. Remove yourself from the premises of this fine establishment. It is not intended for the presence of the likes of you.”
“But before that.”
“There is no before that. There is only after the rope. Put yourself inside the rope. Let’s make a deal. You can talk to me for an hour, but after you choke to death. Or break your neck or whatever. It’s a pretty good deal if I say so myself. What do you say. Do we have a deal? Deal?”
“But before that, I want to explain with a wealth of details the nature of my situation. I feel very dispossessed of a platform to express my grievances.”
“I know one platform upon which you are quite welcome. It has a little trap door under your feet, so that you break your neck instead of choking to death. While you are hanging from a rope.”
“Let us take the example of the logo for the new stamp-sized paperclips in the ‘Sovereign Edition’ production line.”
“Die.”
“I am the one who came up with most of the ideas for its features, such as that line over here, blending into this other line over here.”
“It was your job. Concept and realization. They are both clearly identified, going as far as your hiring details!”
“I am not perfectly what you want me to be.”
“I want you to be a slow pendulum. Tic-toc-tic-toc.”
“Why is it not important to you that I have inherent potential that won’t be fulfilled because your system makes it impossible for me to have a limited but more appropriate range of functions?”
“You really don’t seem to get it, do you? I fired you, and something better will come up! I am done with you!”
“But I never had a real chance!”
“Rope! Beam! Noose! Knot! Neck! Die!”
“Why don’t people appreciate me? Why can’t you treat me with some minimal level of respect?”
“Are you being serious? Do you think this conversation ever actually happens? You forced this off-the-cuff exchange by refusing to leave! Also because we are ambiguously manifesting ourselves inside your mind, or some freak parallel dimension! I do not appear to be as dishonest as I should be in order to protect my reputation!”
“I won’t kill myself. For now I will try to feed on termites and other pest insects. That will keep me alive.”
“Well, you seem good to go. Have fun paying your next rent!”
“At this time, I expect that your system simply lack the means of murdering me within its own rationalization of its goals, its function, its presentation of itself. I will be alive for the foreseeable future.”
“Go die!”
“Is it not strange? This language as so many kind words to signal departure! How come there is not ‘Farebad’ as an alternative to ‘Farewell’? Why does the ‘Bye’ needs to be either good or neutral? Godspeed? Godspeed?! Why should I wish for you to be embraced by higher powers? Meanwhile, every negative forms have a very distinct finality to them as if it was expected that the person would immediately explode in some original minefield!”
“Go die!”
“Misfortune!”
29/06/06 Misfortune